Wednesday, September 30, 2009

It wasn't the best of days, but it wasn't the worst of days

I'm not usually a deep sleeper, and I usually have at least one dream a night, but last night was an exception. I slept for almost 11 hours straight, without even a whiff of a dream. It was practically like being in a coma!

Anyway, once the day or afternoon got going, I was feeling great. The weather was cold and blustery - in other words, PERFECT - and the bus was on time. I read part of an article on Emerson on the way to school, and we discussed it in class for an hour. Interesting stuff, but I was feeling kind of intellectually fatigued and overwhelmed since I hadn't finished the article, so I didn't really make any comments.

After Emerson class, I ate lunch and did all the reading for my film class, much of it while sitting in the classes I TA for. I felt a bit guilty for reading instead of paying attention, but since I've already taken the classes and don't feel obligated to contribute or participate in student-like activities, I justified myself. Anyhow, I was punished in the end with the recognition that reading in a quiet room while only one person is talking can be extremely difficult. I was reading various works by Wordsworth, Faulkner, and C. S. Lewis, but still managed to overhear quite a lot about Rococo Art, Tartuffe, Critical Thinking, and the "To be or not to be" speech from Hamlet.

At 4:50 I rushed off to my film class in the HFAC, and enjoyed some lecturing, film clips, and music clips presented by our wonderful, entertaining, knowledgeable professor. He also handed us back our first graded assignment - which I had spent one or two hours on, for the record - and I got an A. Hooray! :) He then proceeded to assure us that his harsh criticism was meant to be encouraging and supportive and that he had faith we would all improve and yada yada yada. I was wondering what on earth he was talking about until I remembered that there were 20 or so freshmen in the class. Poor little freshmen. Serves them right, though. And I can say that because...I once was one? It's true? Free speech? I'm heartless? All of the above? None of the above? Discuss.

We spent the last two hours watching Army of Shadows, a French film about the resistance during World War II, and then our despicable, horrible, unfeeling teacher STOPPED it. BEFORE THE ENDING. I and the other hardcore film/Humanities majors sulked and glared, but the freshmen looked relieved. He promised to show us the rest next week, but I'm going to look it up tonight because there's NO WAY I'm waiting a whole week to find out if Philippe makes it through the war or if Francois really is dead or if Mathilde decides to betray all her comrades rather than have her daughter sent to a Polish whorehouse for German soldiers. The film is emotionally gripping and occasionally terrifying (several parts reminded me of one of the most powerful and horrific films I've ever seen - The Last Days of Sophie Scholl), but it did lose me several times with its characters - I confused their faces and voices a couple of times - and contained many intricate steps and twists which I found hard to keep track of. It was a long film, and a war film, to boot, both of which in general are just exhausting, and even more so when the setting is in an unfamiliar land with foreign characters speaking foreign languages. But I think I'll remember several things from it for a very long time.

Hmmmm, I've just realized that all the films I've seen in the past week - Ben Hur, Amazing Grace, A Man for All Seasons, Pan's Labyrinth, and now this - have been really heavy, awe-inspiring films with profound messages about gigantic themes like war and violence and injustice. No wonder I've been so depressed lately - will someone please pass the comedies?

Well, I'd love to write some more, but really got to get going now. There's some papers I promised to look over for some of my students tonight, and then I've simply got to do some more reading in this potentially scandalous library book - I only have THREE chapters left!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Reprieved!

The bad news first: I was late for my first class, missed two out of ten in our morning quiz, missed breakfast, and was sleepy all day.

Now the good news: I don't have any tests, papers, quizzes, or writing assignments for the rest of the week! I think that deserves a moment of silence. Or thunderous applause. Or at least, its own paragraph.

So, after getting to bed at 3 am, I was lucky to wake up today at 8, with an entire hour to finish the writing assignment I wasn't quite able to get through last night. Mom drove me to school, I printed up my assignment, raced to class, and spent most of it leafing through the pages of my mostly unmarked copy of All the Pretty Horses trying to remember where I read what and who said what. Don't get the wrong idea - I did read ALL of the book, but it was about two weeks ago, and I still have a hard time marking my books up, especially my new books. On the upside, I got a quiz back with 15/10 on the first book we read, Last Buckaroo :)

After class, I was planning to go work on my Civil War prospectus (proposal for a research paper), but found myself heading up to the Marriott Center while I read The Meadow by James Galvin. I got there just in time to hear the tale end of a choir piece which sounded really fabulous. The speaker was Kim B. Clark, a General Authority who Mom says is the current president of Brigham Young University Idaho. He gave a nice talk about pride and avoiding it (we got into a big argument about it over family dinner, coincidentally - all of us are apparently too proud to let anyone else have the last word in any debate). I tried to pay attention but found my mind wandering a lot, thinking about all the things I had to do that day, and that week, and how I would ever get through them all.

After Devotional, I ate lunch and finished collecting my sources for the prospectus, which I then printed up. I did my Civil War reading - oddly, I have no problem marking up my by now well-battered copy of Lincoln and Civil War America - and headed off to class, which was fantastic as usual except for a most annoying buzzing sound that tortured our ears throughout the 4 or 5 minute clip from the Ken Burns documentary our teacher showed us about the battle of Shiloh. After class, I was pleasantly surprised to get a reading quiz - one which I had particularly been unhappy with - back with a check mark on it, meaning I got full points. It was, however, accompanied by the abrupt and cutting remark "borderline on Lee," which, I fear, severely devalues my reputation as an honorable Southerner. (But in my defense, he gave us only about 4 minutes to write paragraph-length responses about Lee AND Lincoln - so really, what examples do you think spring to mind first?)

After Civil War class, I went straight home. I haven't been home before dark in a LONG TIME, and it was definitely nice. I intended to get some work done, but I was really too tired to do anything besides read some more in my exciting library book and fall asleep. Then it was time for dinner. Then I helped walk our dog Teddy, just to enjoy the cool, windy weather, and then I watched "Amazing Grace." It was a good film and I enjoyed it a lot, particularly since my mind has been on these issues of late. I didn't find it as realistically and emotionally compelling as "A Man for All Seasons," (which we watched in film class last Wednesday) but it's still well worth watching.

Well, I'm off to bed to catch up on sleep and get ready for a busy day tomorrow. I have a lot of reading to do for my Emerson and film classes and grading to do for my Humanities classes and writing to do for all my classes. Oh, and I haven't washed my hair since Saturday. Uh...yeah. Perhaps I'd better...yeah.

I think I have College Senioritis

So everyone, it's 2:07 am, and here I am, writing an essay prompt due tomorrow in my 9:30 class. The prompt was emailed to us today - since, of course, I had, like, nothing to do on Saturday.

Luckily, it's only 250 words, and I already planned out what I need to say about 5 hours ago sitting at a desk in the Wilkinson Center. So why did I wait until now to do it? Good question! Could it have something to do with the fact that I just spent the last four hours researching and writing a prospectus for a paper due tomorrow in my Civil War class!?!?! (Why yes, that would be the class I was ready to kill myself for last Friday) Or perhaps the news that I now have 40 new reading responses and 17 new student papers to grade before next week? Or possibly the fact that I just started a new book last night and it was SO interesting and I couldn't get to sleep 'cause I couldn't stop reading it and then I was super tired the next morning and I'm desperate to find out what happens but can't go to bed because of this silly essay prompt and can't work on the prompt either because I'm starting to go craaaaaaaaaaaaazy!?!??????????????

Mmmm. And all of a sudden, I feel better. Amazing what writing can do to you, isn't it?

Here are a few good things that I can think of that are going on, just to balance out any ideas you may get that I'm about to kill myself before the semester is even a third through.

1. After tomorrow, I will have a bit of a breather in at least two of my classes. This means I'll get to a) exercise more, b) read more, c) fiiiiinally watch Amazing Grace, and d) get caught up on homework.

2. General Conference is coming up this weekend. It's the best, really. If you don't watch it or watch all the sessions, you are missing out.

3. I have an exciting book to read that isn't school-related. YEEEEEESH!

4. October - probably my favorite month of the year - is just around the corner. Can't wait for this heat to go away!

5. Today I got a really sweet compliment from a guy. Too cute/embarrassing/private to share on the blog, but just know that it was that sweet.

6. My sister got a humongous harp - it's taller than my BED! - and, though it looks a little creepy in the living room all covered with a dark tarp right now, it adds quite the classical flair to our house. Can't wait for the next home teachers' visit!

7. I happened to be outside near the ASB when the flag was lowered today, and got to stand all still and quiet and reverent while the anthem played and the guard folded the flag. That makes the first time this semester! It's so neat to see everyone standing still on campus and showing respect for the country. Yea America!

Well, I feel a bit more invigorated now, so I'll try to finish this little assignment here and then off to bed and my book, if I can still keep my brain working, that is. Good night!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Why yes, I have been insanely busy for the past thirty days or so. Could you tell?

So, I'm back in Utah and back in school and finally back in the ward as a member (but they still haven't given me my organist-entitled church key!), and life is BUSY. I'm only taking four classes, but I'm also working as a TA for two Humanities classes, and working on the American Studies Student Journal Americana, and teaching Relief Society, and trying to flirt with this super cute guy in my... hmmm, how did that get in there?

Anyway, though my life is pretty much consumed with school at this point, I do promise to try to spend a little more of my time writing my blog, since it's fun once I get going, and I've always wanted to keep a better record of what I'm doing over the semester besides attending class and writing papers.

So these are my classes, in the order of how I attended them on the first/second days of the semester:

Emerson: Meets at 1 on MWF. The official title is Humanities 440R, but I pretty much just call it Emerson, or Em in my notes (as in "Write em paper!" "Do em readings!" and so on). With a subject like the teachings of Ralph Waldo Emerson, the class has a lot of boredom potential, but it's actually one of my favorite classes. It's a pretty diverse group of students: There are some graduate students, all of whom are real characters (more to come... so much more), and I have TAed (it's a spoken verb - trust me) (but don't put it in your paper, or I'll take off points) for classes taken by several other students. And two other students are in two of my other classes this semester. So pretty much, I always have someone to talk to and something to talk about in class, even if it isn't Emerson. The class material itself is great, though. We do a lot of reading, but not too much, and we can bring up anything we want to discuss in class - no stiff lecture/powerpoint formats here! Our teacher, Carl Sederholm, is one of my favorites from the Humanities department - so sensitive and sincere, yet funny and witty when he wants to be. Oh, and we're in a special "seminar" classroom on the 3rd floor of the JFSB (y'know, next to all the professors' offices), with a long table and swively chairs instead of desks - which adds to the class a distinct air of superiority over the hoi polloi (that's for you, Grandpa) taking 200-level classes in the basement.

Humanities 250: The subject is something like "Interdisciplinary Humanities," and the class is basically an introduction to the Humanities major - it covers what you need to know to analyze art, literature, film, music, theater, etc. It meets MWF at 1 and 3, but of course I can't go to the one at 1. The 3 pm class is small - only about 10 students - but low pressure and fun (well, any class is low pressure if you're the TA, I suppose). I basically sit around and study for my other classes, or take notes on a few of the new things Dr. Call (the teacher - he's an extremely nice, well-bred, intelligent, and enthusiastic young guy) has added to the course since I took it. I like Dr. Call, but he does me make feel a little uncomfortable - for one thing, he is so upbeat and enthusiastic that I can't help but suspect him of faking it. He's also very conservative and proper in his relations with me - to the point that I feel awkward and embarrassed when I have to talk to him alone. But this probably has more to do with me than him, and it's ten thousand times better than having to deal with a crabby teacher who doesn't care about the class or his relationship with the TA. Anyway, the class is fun and low-key because of the small numbers, and the students get more opportunities to express themselves and act dorky, which is great.

Humanities 202: The other class I TA for! It meets MW from 4 - 5:15 in a crowded room in the JKB, about 5 minutes walk from the JFSB, where my first two classes are. This was the very first Humanities class I took at BYU, and I love the material - Literature/Art/Music from the Renaissance to now.

Western American Culture and Literature (also known as American Studies 300): 9:30 - 10:45 on TTh. This class is cross-listed with some class from the English department, and it's taught by Phil Snyder, who - surprise, surprise - turns out to be the husband of one of my favorite teachers from the English Language department, Delys Snyder ("Delys" rhymes with "police") -who has the power to make a 2-hour class three times a week on English grammar fun and exciting! Phil is a bit of an eccentric - starting with his preference that we call him "Phil" - but a thoroughly entertaining and smart guy to be around. He knows his stuff, and he loves it, and he cares more about getting us to know and love the stuff than torturing us with memorization and arbitrary busywork. We've already gone on two field trips (which included roping, seeing bulls up close, and riding horses) to his home and his neighbors' ranches in Salem, Utah, and I absolutely love doing the reading for the class - actual autobiographies and novels rather than textbooks! - so I have high hopes for the semester.

Civil War Era: 3-4:15 TTh. I love just about everything about this class. The reading is absorbing, the work is challenging yet rewarding, the lectures are absolutely fascinating, and the teacher, Matt Mason, has been one of my academic heroes for the past three years (ever since I took my favorite college class - American Heritage - from him as a freshman). I really love this class because I am passionate about the American South. It is the land where I feel the strongest connections of home, family, and country, and I know that in my dreams I want to live there and raise my own family there. But enough about that. My only problem with the class as of right now is that I don't have any good friends to sit with or talk to. Oh, and we had a big test last week and I didn't get to study for it as much as I wanted to, but I still think I did pretty well. We'll see when the tests get returned, I guess.

Great Films: My last class! Meets on Wednesdays from 5 - whenever the movie ends (usually 9 pm). I pretty much just call this class "Film," but its official title is Theatre and Media Arts 498R. It's not quite as low-key and entertaining as my Honors 304 class on Genre, but it's still fun and maybe even more stimulating - we actually have to do the readings to get credit, for one, and the readings are actually worth reading and discussing, for two (By the way, what IS that? Can you say "for two"? Why or why not? Discuss). Unfortunately, our class somehow got mixed up with the Freshman Academy group in the Film/Media Arts category, so we have about 15 freshman in our group of superior humanities/snobby film/crazily intelligent grad students. It's...interesting. Our teacher - Dean Duncan - is great, though. Just as casual and impassive and sardonic and shabbily-dressed as 100% of all my film teachers, and full of just as many great quotes (i.e. On the first day of class - "Don't feel scared if you're young or superior if you're old, because I'm older and superior-er than all of you."). And he actually STAYS in the room during the obligatory movie shown in the last hour and a half or so of class. I guess he wants to refresh his memory of the themes of the movie in relation to our class discussion. Or maybe he wants to catch the people who sneak out early. Or maybe he just likes watching movies - don't we all?

And that's the bulk of my life, attending and doing homework for these classes. All in the hope of four tiny little As on my transcript come Christmas. And, yeah, sure, knowledge and stuff. Wish me luck for tomorrow - I have to prepare a prospectus for my research paper in the Civil War class, finish up some grading for my Hum 202 class, and do a bunch of reading. Did I also mention that I'm also working to get a paper published in the Americana journal this year? Yep, yep, life is busy. Good and busy.