It's beginning to feel a lot like...

Christmas time is here!

Happiness and cheer . . .

 

Fun for all that children call their favorite time of year. 

Snowfloofs in the air

Beauty everywhere

Yuletide by the fireside

 And joyful memories there...  

The most wonderful time of the year is finally here!

The Weather Report

I'm feeling a bit all over the place today. I was hoping to write up a nice post about Sarah and Hannah's birthday, followed by a miserable post about the all-day reading exam I took on Friday, Dec 7, then some pre-holiday ramblings about how much work I had to do, how excited I am for Christmas, how confused and conflicted I feel over next semester, etc. Here are the main things on my mind:

1. After a hard debate with myself, my fellow grad students, and teachers in the department, I ended up dropping my 101 section for winter. It only had 8 students enrolled in it. Now I wish I hadn't. I wouldn't get paid very much, but I had already done all the work for the class, and I was looking forward to teaching it in a much less stressful situation. And it looks like I may not teach it again before I graduate unless I do some fine finagling. And my sister was going to take it from me. And now I have to find more work that will end up being less fun and probably won't even pay that much. And I've got a sick, queasy feeling in my stomach that won't go away, probably until next semester is over. Why do I have to make important decisions at the time when my brain is completely dead?

2. I have had a canker sore on the left side of my mouth for the past four days. Sometimes it's incredibly painful; other times, it goes numb and doesn't really bother me. But it always comes back to remind me a) in the morning, b) whenever I kiss Matthew, c) whenever we cuddle lying down, d) whenever I brush my teeth, and e) whenever I eat. That's a lot of reminders. And I haven't even mentioned two other ailments I've had going on for a while,  one on my perpetually infected big toe, and one in a place which shall not be named.

3. For a long time, my car has persnicketedly (word of the day!) decided to refuse to open its trunk unless you use my key (aka The One True Key). Now it has refused to work even for this key. It doesn't matter if everything is locked, open, shut, running, or off. The way is shut. And frustration is building.

4. I am becomingly increasingly aware of how my family members and I disagree on EVERYTHING. Now, my husband says I'm exaggerating, and I might be. But I don't think so. Basically, we all have to come to a common ground to talk nicely about things, and whenever we waver from this common - usually right on the edge between boring/interesting and joking/offensive - ground, someone ends up saying, "Let's not talk about that," or "That doesn't sound very nice," or awkward silence, or "Ehhhh - can we change the subject." So to compensate, I have to play act/hide my feelings twice as much whenever we are visiting family, and it's exhausting. And I'm starting to get that this is probably normal for most families. It's kind of a difficult realization to make. But I'm fortunate that I'm not entirely alone yet. Thank goodness for husbands who don't mind their wives spilling all their feelings to them every night. And for prayers.

5. I need to work out more. But I also have to go to work. I wish I had more friends at church. But I actually prefer to be left alone. I really want a baby or a cat. Do any of you guys know how much I love cats?????? "A lot" is the answer. Our neighbors have one and I AM SO JEALOUS (but we're not allowed to have them, so our neighbors are probably criminals). But I also don't like it when things change, and our lives will change drastically with the addition of a third member. I sure wish I was teaching that class. But I blew my chance and it's too late to go back. I wish I was done with school. I feel burned out. I'm sick and tired of the stress. I'm sick and tired of people telling me to enjoy it while it lasts (I imagine mothers cleaning out their babies' diapers feel similarly when people tell them to cherish that moment while it lasts). But I also like it, and part of me will be sad when it's over. Can you see why I labeled this post "The Weather Report"?

And now, a few happy things to end with:

1. The Hobbit. We are planning to see this on Friday. I am excited. The End (Or...the BEGINNING).
2. The song "Up" by Shania Twain. It's been stuck in my head the past few days and I'm seriously falling in love.
3. Swimming.
4. Potatoes.
5. Downton Abbey. Got this after being no. 70 or something on hold at the Provo library, and then immediately got Matthew to check out season 2 for me at the Orem library (you have to pay money, but not waiting in line for another half-a-year was WORTH IT). I'm gonna be crushed when I finish the second season, though. But none of that matters. Branson and Sybil/Anna and Bates/Mary and Matthew forever!

The One About Thanksgiving

Last week a lot of people asked us where we were going for Thanksgiving, and we, depending on our mood, said, "Nowhere," "Orem," "our parents," or "the dungeon!" (Okay, no one really said the dungeon, but Matthew likes to joke that I go there every time this semester because I'm usually shut away in a room working on a huge paper.) I read an article in the Daily Universe last week about the difficulty of choosing which family to celebrate holidays with as a married couple (yes folks, that is news), and one guy said something like, "Oh, it's no big deal. We discussed it and we alternate spending Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with hers. This year we're doing the opposite." Which is all fine and good until I read the next line, which said his and his wife's parents lived TEN MINUTES apart from each other. I don't know if I'm blowing this whole thing out of proportion, but spending the entirety of Christmas TEN MINUTES away from your or your spouse's family seems a little ridiculous to me. I mean, if Christmas were only five minutes long, then maybe. But there are 24 hours to kill, and you can only sleep for so long! (Unless you're a lion, which thanks to a trivia game I just learned can sleep for, like, 80 hours a day.) (Yes, I'm exaggerating.)

Anyway, the point is that Matthew's parents and my parents literally live two minutes from each other. And as such we've never even considered where we're going to spend the holidays. It's only ever been a matter of what time of day we change houses.

At first, I wasn't sure how well this would work for us. Would both families feel gypped by our leaving them for parts of the day? Would we get enough privacy to spend enough of the holiday with just each other? Would our stomachs be able to hold all of the food that would be served? These were some deep, troubling questions. Fortunately, so far I am happy to report that none of them has been a problem. Our families are both understanding of our need for privacy and our desire to spend some time at the other family's house. Since we live in Provo, we still spend every morning and evening just with each other, which is a tradition I'd love to keep up, but of course, if we move out of state and then come back for the holidays, we'll probably end up staying at someone's parents' house. Probably mine. All of my sisters-in-law who live out of town end up staying at their parents' house over the holidays, which I believe is a sign that all these women have married good husbands who don't mind sleeping wherever their wife is most comfortable.

So now we get to the good part. Thanksgiving.

In spite of spending most of the holiday working on my paper in the dungeon, I did manage to get a family portrait shot with me and Matthew. The paper is over 20 pages right now and is on comic theories of the carnivalesque, incongruity, and absurdism in No Country for Old Men. It will probably take one more week to finish. Yeah, I'll be okay. Thanks for asking.

For some reason, Sarah and Hannah always get the tastiest part of the turkey. But I got to eat the leftover cranberry salad the next day, so who's the real winner?

Another awkward eating shot. Guess which one is staged? (Answer: They both were. But isn't Matthew a good actor!?!?)

Mama carved the turkey, but Dad scooped the cranberry salad. Which Mama made. Yeah, our Thanksgiving would be pathetic without Mama. We also didn't stuff our basket turkey this year with things we were thankful for, but did go around the table once at both homes.

My only niece is turning 8 next month! She seems so much younger than I was at that age. But she's cute and funny and wild and crazy. Especially at the sword fighting Wii game.

My nephew Brian seems to have done a lot of growing this year. Last year he would barely interact with me, but now he likes to talk and smile and do whatever people ask him to do (but just try getting him to STOP doing something...). He's also got this cute quirk of saying the prayer before we eat no matter whom Grandpa Stan just asked to say it.

My sisters - aka THE TWINS (which I'm writing just to annoy Sarah, who asked me why I always called them "the twins" in my journal. LOL! At least I didn't call them "the babies," like Mary Alma did...) turn 19 in a few weeks. Isn't that crazy? Time to start filling out those mission papers. Just kidding. Or not? We'll see. To be continued.

The pumpkin pie and whipped cream was, as usual, delicious. Matthew and I actually surprised ourselves at how little we ate all day, but then we made up for it by stuffing ourselves on Black Friday when our hunger caught up with us.

Other highlights?

1. Taking home leftovers from Matt's parents to eat on Saturday. Three days of Thanksgiving and counting!

2. Playing volleyball on Friday with some other Intermediate class people left in town. They were mostly all better than me and I got hit with the ball a lot, but I also made some good plays and serves and wasn't the worst one there, so I'm counting it as a highlight. Plus, it felt great to exercise.

3. Watching "Unbreakable" and "Mao's Last Dancer." Fantastic movies. Really enjoyed them both.

4. Did I mention I wrote over 20 pages of my paper? That's going to save me a lot of grief next week.

5. Decorating for Christmas. Shopping for some Christmas presents online. Realizing that a month from today will be Christmas. Getting super excited about Christmas.

And then, of course, reality hits - I have four more lectures to prepare, another round of papers, assignments, and final exams to grade, a HUGE reading exam in two weeks to study for and take and pass, two papers to finish up (the 20+ pager is the big one; the other one is going to be about 8 pages and I haven't even started it yet), lots of TA miscellaneous stuff, and all kinds of reading to finish up.

I'm so stressed my hair is turning blonde!

Happy Thanksgiving! Be thankful you're not me!

Thanks a lot

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say I have been looking forward to Thanksgiving break since the beginning of the semester. As soon as I found out that I was teaching Tuesdays and Thursdays, and that all the people who taught on Monday got Labor Day off, I couldn't wait to get my revenge on Thanksgiving week, the glorious week when there are no Tuesday/Thursday classes at all. Teaching a class for the first time has been extremely time-consuming and exhausting, particularly near the end of the semester when I have SO MANY OTHER THINGS I need to do. It takes me several hours to prepare my PowerPoints, clips, and notes, and then I still have to grade their work and show up to class and all that. If I was taking one more class (like most of my friends are), I would be an absolute mess.

So this week, I will be taking a long relaxing break from school, studying, reading, grading, writing, and thinking of any kind.... Ha ha, who am I kidding? I will be writing a paper, probably around 15-20 pages, on the function and power of humor in Cormac McCarthy's No Country for Old Men. I've been planning to write about this subject all semester, but planning and doing are unfortunately not the same thing. The way I write papers is a little bit like getting into a war. The waiting and planning and strategical moves are the most agonizing parts and take the longest; when I actually start the hand-to-keyboard combat, I turn into a frenzied maniac, losing track of all time and obligations like eating, sleeping, taking showers, doing housework, etc., just so I can LIVE TO WRITE ANOTHER PARAGRAPH. If I get enough momentum, I can go all day and all night. Time never goes by quicker than when I'm working on a paper and have nothing else to do that day.

There are a few other things that I will be doing over Thanksgiving break, of course. Like reading American Psycho and Child of God, bemoaning the pitiful amount of Christmas presents I have managed to collect over this year for my family, and planning our three Christmas pieces with the ward choir.

Now, to cap it off, here are some things I am thankful for:

1. I'm thankful the paper cut on my left pointer finger has FINALLY healed to the point where I can type without having to wear a band-aid or be in excruciating pain. I'm pretty sure I know now which is the most important finger on both of my hands.

2. I'm thankful for the round of awesome movies I checked out last week at the library. Especially motivational and entertaining was the one about the first modern Olympic games in 1896. I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it.

3. I'm thankful for baked potatoes with chili, cheese, sour cream, and cabbage. This is seriously the easiest meal ever to prepare and I could probably eat it every night.

4. I'm thankful for the privacy of our apartment. I really do prefer having a small place to myself (and Matthew, of course) than a large place with other people. It's sort of ridiculous how drunk I get with the power and independence of it all. Who turned the couch around? I DID. Whose books are those in piles on the floor? MINE. That kind of thing.

5. I'm thankful for the good TV shows that give me something to look forward to on Mondays (I suppose now is as good a time as any to admit my undying love for Revenge and Once Upon a Time).

6. I'm thankful I got to ride a horse this semester. If only that could happen more often.

7. I'm also thankful for Matthew. I will never get over how sweet and cute and good a person he is and how lucky/blessed I am to be his wife.

More in love than Twilight...

Ruth Tells All

I don’t post on this blog very much anymore. You may think that I have nothing to say. THIS IS SOOOO NOT THE CASE. Every Sunday I write an average of four pages in my journal. I wrote long, detailed, weekly letters to my three siblings who served missions for the entire length of their missions. I am a writer. When I get frustrated with circumstances or people, I want to write about it. Unfortunately, a lot of my frustration and emotion comes through in my writing, and I worry that if I get too specific in writing about my life on my blog, certain people close to me will read it and be offended. I could maybe solve this by making my blog private, but probably not, since a lot of the people and situations that affect me most deeply are also private.

Since marrying Matthew, I have had an outlet for my frustration besides writing. I can talk to him about anything and everything, anyone and everyone. I can cry in his arms, gossip to him about each and every one of our family members and friends, and say ridiculous, stupid, or embarrassing things to him that I would die if anyone else heard me say. Neither Matthew nor I are the outgoing, social personality types; we don’t like to go out a lot or attend a lot of social events. We stay home most nights, reading,watching movies, and giving each other back scratches. And we love it. Mostly. I do get a little lonely sometimes, and jealous of people who have cute babies to keep them busy, and now and then I get the urge to do something crazy, like go to the beach RIGHT NOW, or move to another state, or take some dancing lessons with Matthew (still might do that one).

But mostly, it’s me, Matthew, and my thoughts. For all the public displays of affection that Matthew and I gained a reputation for during our courtship, we are a fairly private couple these days. We don’t have a lot of couple friends (we did get close enough to two couples to invite them over for dinner at our apartment, but then our ward boundaries and callings changed and we never see these couples anymore). We don’t spend a lot of time at our parents’ houses, and when we’re there, I feel like a visitor, like I don’t really belong and can’t really open up. I used to talk every day with my siblings and parents, but I don’t share a lot of my thoughts with other people anymore. Perhaps I am afraid that they will judge me or misunderstand my feelings. Perhaps I like having secrets. Perhaps I don’t want other people to know who I really am and what I really think about. I am not really sure. I still love to write. I still have interesting things to say. I just find it hard sometimes to modify the content of my mind into something suitable for a blog post that other people can read without becoming offended or invading my privacy. I usually try to keep my blog posts funny, newsy, and full of pictures and stories. But I know that the “Ruth” of the blog is different from the Ruth in my journal. And the Ruth in my journal is more interesting to me. So that’s why I haven’t been posting very much.

Now, here are some blog-Ruth thoughts:

1) We had a water leak under our kitchen sink this week. It was the first real problem we’ve had with our apartment since moving in. Fortunately, Matthew was home and able to detect the problem before it flooded everything, and a plumber fixed it within the day. Even more fortunately, I was at BYU teaching my Humanities class during the worst of it, and brought home free dinner on paper plates from a Graduate Student Society BBQ. No dishes!

 2) For the first time ever, this semester I am taking Intermediate Volleyball. And . . .  I LOVE IT. I started out trying to take a beginning class, but it was just so terrible that I switched immediately to another section, which also turned out to be terrible. The teacher made us spend thirty minutes just passing the ball—I was bored to tears. Even worse, everyone I partnered up with had trouble just hitting the ball, so we spent more time chasing it than passing it. In Intermediate Volleyball, we still haven’t played a ton of real games, but our drills are challenging and interesting, and everyone is actually good enough that you wouldn’t mind having them on your team. I felt a little intimidated on my first day (it didn’t help that there’s a guy in the class who is the spitting image of Cato from The Hunger Games), but once I realized I wasn’t too far behind the good players, and that I definitely wasn’t the worst one in the class, I settled in just fine. I still can’t do a jump serve, but neither can 75% of the class. I still get annoyed at the boys who hog the ball and the bossy girl who screams, “TALK TO EACH OTHER!” when somebody goes after a ball in my area and misses it completely, but I love the moments when someone congratulates me on a good set or serve, and I like knowing that I am good enough to be an intermediate player.

 3) I’m a little—okay, more than a little—obsessed with X-Men. Matthew showed me some episodes from the cartoon version, I checked out some of the movies (couldn’t finish the one where Cyclops died, because, HELLOOOOOO—I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED), we played a pretty cool card game, and—ta da! I was hooked. Especially with the whole Cyclops/Jean Grey/Wolverine thing. James Marsden is just a funny, all right-looking guy in every other movie I’ve seen him in, but in “X-Men,” WHOOOOOOO-BOY. It’s kind of a sudden development. Before last week, I would have chosen Hugh Jackman any day in any role over any one (except Russell Crowe, my true and living favorite actor); but now I’m all like, “Wolverine who?” I’ve already begged Matthew to dress up as Cyclops for Halloween so I could be Jean Grey (haven’t figured out how to do the red hair thing or the red glasses yet, but I’ve still got a month). And I know more about superheroes now probably than my entire family (this may not last when Edward grows up . . . we’ll just have to wait and see, I guess). I think I can safely assure you all right now that our kids will be “Big Bang Theory”-type nerds.

 4) Books/movies that I highly recommend/want to read: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. I finished it in less than a week, and was riveted the entire way through. It’s basically a story about competing with the world to win a computer game and a lot of money, but it’s so intriguing. And oddly believable. And just plain fun. Unwholly by Neal Shusterman. I LOVED the first book in this series, Unwind, so much that I just now decided I’m going to read it again (I have a copy at my parents’ house). It’s a scary, fascinating, futuristic novel that asks some really bizarre questions. I couldn’t put it down. Bliss: Matthew and I saw this movie at the International Cinema last week. Even though it was 9:30 and I had to practically drag Matthew out of the house (did I mention before how we like to just stay at home every evening?), we both agreed it was a phenomenal movie well worth the late-night trip. It’s about a girl who is sentenced to death because she has brought her family dishonor, but through the course of the movie the family member assigned to kill her has to grapple with his growing feelings that she is innocent. It’s the best foreign movie I can remember seeing in a long time.

EPIC SUMMER PICTURE POST!

In case you were wondering why I haven't posted all July, the answer is that I was busy doing things, as evidenced by the following pictures. First, there was the Fourth of July parade...

the best part of which was this possibly Chinese dragon.

 Also, THOR.


Next, there was Daniel's birthday.

Where to begin!?!? Pictures! Pizza! Presents! Puppies! (Well, one not technically-a-puppy puppy.)

 

And most importantly...

CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then there were a few long, hot, tedious days, during which the camera made only the occasional appearance to document noteworthy accomplishments, such as...

Or to preserve this face made by Matthew one day while studying for his anatomy class:

Or to prove to skeptics that my hair was now long enough to be French-braided:

Sarah also took up nursing, by which I mean there was a great deal of blood pressure taking and blood pressure comparing going on:

Also featured: welcome-arm-baring by certain handsome muscular patients

Then the month took off again, because suddenly it was MY BIRTHDAY!

And there was much goofyness and picture taking and awkward placing of arms in the land.

Mama made me a strawberry cake!

Yep, that cake was the star of the show.

Cake, cake, cutting the cake, texting about the cake... Seriously, WHAT IS HE TEXTING?

But the last week of July turned out to be the most epic of all, as I got to visit Kirtland and Hiram, Ohio, for three days with one of the professors I work with at BYU.

For THE FIRST TIME EVER, I got to stay in my very own hotel room. I surrounded myself in pillows and watched The Shawshank Redemption past midnight. It was sheer madness.

                               This is where Joseph Smith walked in and told Newel K. Whitney "Thou art the man!"                                   I totally would have bought a T-shirt of that quote for Matthew, but sadly couldn't find one.

Over our allotted three days, we did a lot of filming and research and working on other projects in the car while the photographer did his thing, and I carried a lot of bags and technical equipment and amused myself by taking quirky pictures of myself in a graveyard.

LIKE

SO.

We also got to go inside the first Latter-day Saint temple, the Kirtland Temple, which has been kept up and is owned and operated by the Community of Christ. We even went into the basement, which was pretty cool (and slightly terrifying - you could look up and see the light from the first floor coming through, as well as see where they had to reinforce the foundations with slightly crooked but thick trees). We weren't allowed to take any pictures of the inside, but guess what? The outside is prettier anyway.

SEE?

PRETTY!

In Hiram, we visited the colorful John Johnson farmhouse, where Joseph Smith and his family stayed for a while as the Saints were gathering to Kirtland.

This is the bedroom where Joseph was dragged out by a mob and tarred and feathered. You would expect it to be dark and "spiritless," but it's actually more colorful and fun-looking than nursery rooms at church.

This is the upstairs room where Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon had a vision of the different kingdoms of glory. I didn't love the salmon paint, but at least it wasn't purple. Ew, purple.

My favorite part of the trip came on our last day as we were on our way to the airport, and stopped briefly at one of Lake Erie's beaches. I could have stayed for hours, but we only had five minutes. Still, it was probably my favorite five minutes of the entire summer. As Matthew can attest, I loooooooooooooooooooooove the beach and would rather go there than do almost anything else in the world. Something about the combination of wind, water, sand, and sky just sends shivers all over me. It took a LOT of self-control to keep from diving in, clothes and all.

The beginning of five minutes in heaven!

My professor grew up in Long Beach, meaning that she loved the beach (like me) but wasn't CRAZY about it (like me).

You know I'm happy when I'm smiling even though my part (in my hair) is being completely DESTROYED!!!

Well, I got home and summer started winding to a close. I barely noticed when July ended and August slipped by, but Matthew and I did take time out to go mini-golfing, swimming, and use a coupon we've had since Christmas to eat out at IHOP. And that was the last of our happy summer memories.

We were planning to have pancakes, but ended up getting steak and potatoes.

HAPPY FALL EVERYBODY!