Semester Snarkiness

Volleyball
 
I worked out my legs on Monday. It feels great to be healthy and in shape! As a matter of fact, there's only one downside, and that is that it hurts like a son of perdition. Especially painful are going down stairs, getting up or sitting down, walking, and playing volleyball. So yeah, I would like to apologize to my volleyball class, and in particular, my team, composed of tiny Indian girl, messy-haired mustache dude, and mystery girl with a ponytail (because I can't remember what she looks like). Maybe by next week I'll be able to move faster than a little old grandma using a walker.

On the plus side, my ability to sense pain right now is so distorted that I barely registered skinning both my knees and getting hit in the head with a ball. I will miss my invincibility.

Humanities 101
 
This class is very difficult, mainly because I have to look like I'm paying attention. I am the TA, after all. But here's the problem: I need to finish reading this super-long book in about a day for another class. And class isn't really that difficult to get, right? So I feel justified in sneaking in a few pages of reading while listening out of the corner of my ear (do ears have corners?) to the lecture. But I also feel guilty about it. So in order to feel less guilty, I always make sure to laugh loudly when everybody else is laughing. And it isn't as if I don't pay attention at all. Sometimes (for example, when she turns out all the lights), I put my book down and actually look at the screen. So I think I'm okay, right?

Graduate Classes
 
There are a lot of difficult things to think about in my graduate-level classes. Difficult, challenging, deep questions and problems, such as: How many comments do I need to make per class period to demonstrate my intelligence, superiority to undergrad students, and completion of the reading? Is it bad to make two comments in a row? Does the teacher like me? How can I tell? How can I get him to like me? Should I bring him cookies? Should I be looking up more references in our reading to cite in class or will the teacher think that I'm just trying to skim the reading instead and that I didn't go over it in depth to prepare for class? What if I got really close to finishing the reading but didn't quite finish it? Should I make this comment despite the fact that the two pages I skipped reading might completely contradict what I have to say?

I also often experience deep emotional responses to our class discussions, such as I'm REALLY hungry right now or WE HAVE A WHAAAAAAT DUE ON FRIDAY!?!?!?!? or WHAT THE HECK THAT GUY TOTALLY JUST STOLE MY ANSWER AND NOW THE TEACHER IS GIVING HIM CREDIT FOR IT! NOW I HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE OR HE'LL THINK I'M UNORIGINAL AND SHALLOW!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Note: These reflections are primarily intended for humorous purposes. No insult to any specific person intended.