Recently there has been some debate as to whether or not our family will be taking a vacation this year. Or, at least, part of our family--the part that does not bring in a steady income and tends to have wacky, impulsive ideas involving risky ventures and imprudent behavior. In relation to this, I have been mulling over the following thoughts:
Vacation Pros:
Remember what it feels like to drive 70 mph on a straight road.
See the world before we die. Or at least see America.
Create lasting memories of the best years of our lives, when we are young and stupid and rely on our parents to pay for all of our expenses.
Vacation Cons:
Money could be used in more practical ways (i.e. clothes for fall, new books that I want to read, movie tickets).
Requires too much exertion to research places we want and can afford to go to.
We could die.
Should we end up doing a vacation after all, it's likely to be one of these options: the Grand Canyon, the Great Salt Lake, Zion National Park, Lake Powell. I've been to the GSL once, but it was too cold to get in, so I'd like to return and do that at least once (before I die). As for the others, I know nothing about them yet, but I assume a lot of driving and hiking would be involved, and possibly some camping and bear-baiting, and maybe, possibly, conceivably, death of some kind. It could be a person. Or a car - our red minivan Jack died on the last day of our last vacation. Or it could be the bear, which I wouldn't mind so much.
So far I'm ranking them in this order, with the following Pros & Cons:
1. Great Salt Lake
Pros: Close to here. Involves water. Not very crowded. No bears.
Cons: Kind of boring. Possible death from salt poisoning?
2. Zion National Park
Pros: Pretty close to here. Supposed to be pretty. Hiking is fun. What are the chances of getting killed in a place called "Zion?"
Cons: If you've seen one park, you've seen them all. Might as well stay here and hike Timpanogos.
3. The Grand Canyon
Pros: It's famous. It's grand. It would be cool to say that we've been there.
Cons: Our neighbor's mom died there - she took a step back to pose for a picture. So...deadly and possibly haunted?
4. Lake Powell
Pros: It's a lake. Swimming!
Cons: Kind of a long way to go just to swim (since we don't boat, fish, jet or waterski).
Who knows? Perhaps it will be just the library and the movie theaters for me this summer. What with all my acquired expertise in crime after spending 6 hours at the National Museum of Crime and Punishment in Washington DC, I'm kind of looking forward to this new movie coming out about the famous bank robber John Dillinger (Public Enemies, I believe, is the name of the film?) this Friday. However, if I do go, I'll be lucky to make it out of the theater alive.
4 comments:
Wow. Truly a sobering reminder of the deadly side of "family fun time." If it minds you not, though, I have some further considerations for your list:
GSL: You forgot to mention the smell as one of the cons. Holy rotting fishguts, that place stinks!
ZNP: As to your chances of being killed in a Zionically-titled location, did you ever see The Matrix and its sequels?...
LP: As a closer, less crowded alternative to Lake Powell, you might try Bear Lake, in northern Utah. You can actually make it a day trip (and therefore a cheap trip...), plus they have the awesomest raspberry milkshakes you'll have in your life ever.
...But then again, Bear Lake does have a fabled sea monster, so you might... you know... die.
Kirstiloo,
GSL: I did forget the smell. Although, I seem to recall the sulfur-laden lands of Yellowstone Park as being rather pleasant, so perhaps smell is just not a big issue with me.
ZNP: I haven't... but it would still be nice to say that you died in Zion, at least, wouldn't it?
LP: Thanks for the recommendation! And the threat of death by sea monsters is hardly comparable to the joy of delicious milkshakes...or at least, I would die happy.
We need to have a talk. Pronto.
You can always use the freeway to go to school etc anytime you want to go 70 mph on a straight road.
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